Philosophy of Monotony and Social Terrorism

I haven't blogged in what seems like a long time; today, my first day back on campus, I received inspiration. To my muses, thank you. Today, I will write!

I spent my Spring Break in Florida, and I'm glad I was able to be with friends and family. It was so good to go back home and appreciate experiences and personalities that I once took for granted. That whole epiphany caused me to think about monotony.

Humans tend to become idle/bored/dissatisfied with the commonalities of life, and this phenomenon is called monotony. During my 4 year stay in Florida, I seldom visited the beach, and I dreaded going because of the tourists and immense traffic. During Spring Break, however, I forewent the traffic and enjoyed the different people, their differing attires and accents. I actually missed the beach. I guess you really don't know what you have until it's gone.

I think there are different variations of monotony though. My dissatisfaction with the beach would be due to experience and therefore is more susceptible to be taken for granted as the experience promises to be there always. The other form of monotony is quite the paradox, and it is the focus of my blog today. This variation includes functions which are done repeatedly (hence monotony) without choice due to their necessity ie breathing, smelling, beating of the heart, sleeping, excreting waste, or farting. I think this type is most interesting and deserves a special term. I'll call it FNmonotony.

FNmonotony ought to be boring. It involves processes and actions which are done for an innumerable amount of times. Let me deviate for a moment. Viewers, I'm sure you all have a favorite restaurant/food/activity. When I was younger, I loved eggs. However, after eating them too much, their taste, texture, and even the sight of them became monotonous; I lost interest. I'm sure I ate eggs less than 50 times in my life, yet I lost interest. My point? The human heart beats between 2.5-3million times in a lifetime. The average human breathes 700,000 cubic inches of air daily. Therein lies my point! Ever get tired of breathing? Ever get tired of that beating in your chest every day? FNmonotony is a phenomenon. These things happen, yet few individuals become dissatisfied with them.

With that in mind, viewers, I submit to you that the process of monotony/dissatisfaction lies solely upon choice. We, humans, become dissatisfies with what we can choose, alter, manipulate, and ultimately control.

That's a heavy philosophical argument right there, if I do say so myself. Viewers, think about it, challenge it, and comment about it. I'm going to leave it as it is, since I think it's so powerful. By that I mean, I won't defend it as much, but I will go a little deeper into FNmonotony. This will involve a little intimacy. Viewers, I'm trusting you. We're going to get closer in this blog than we've ever been. We'll laugh, cry, and hopefully think-together. Here we go.

FNmonotony, unlike regular monotony, is even more perplexing because it becomes more interesting/desirable with time! I've been sleeping since birth, and with every passing day, I find that I can't wait to sleep MORE AND MORE. Okay. I'm going to attempt to narrow my thoughts down here and talk about my favorite FNmonotony which may seem a tad crude. Did I mention that we'd get intimate, viewers?

Farting-(n) To expel intestinal gas through the anus; break wind.
My favorite FNmonotony is farting. It's not my favorite in the sense that it's more important than the others in this category. It's my favorite because it's very versatile. Farts are like snowflakes- every one is unique. Some are big. Some are small. Some are smelly. Some are not. Some sound normal, and some are just plain strange. But the whole dynamic of farting changes upon your environment, I've discovered.

Farting is necessary. I don't know what happens if you just refuse to fart, and I don't want to find out. Nevertheless, it's socially unacceptible. Seriously, it's society frowns upon this bodily function. While breathing, eating, digestion, and heart beating are accepted, fart audibly during a meeting and see what kinds of looks you receive. This social displeasure is likely because humans are self interested. The often unpleasant olfactory sensation that hits the nose with this intestinal air often ruins people's moods. Anyway, it's unaccepted. The fact that it is rejected makes it so interesting though. Watch.

We've already established that farting audibly is unacceptible, but if a tree falls in the middle of a forest when no one is around, does it make a sound? Ladies and gentlemen who find worth in reading my blog, I will now give you the key that will unlock the door to infinite farting pleasure. I call it: T.A.F- Terrorist Anonymous Farting. Just bear with me.

These days, terrorists are pretty plentiful. They're everywhere. They're always on T.V., and they're notorious for taking lives. They seek densely populated areas to wreak havoc on humanity. "How does this relate to your FNmonotony and T.A.F" you ask? T.A.F involves densely populated areas whose functions are imposed on its inhabitants- ideally museums, airplanes, and art galleries. In these locations, people are usually focussed, serious, diligent, and in close quarters. To engage in T.A.F., once you've found such a situation, fit right in. Observe that piece of art, or flip open the Flight Satey Manual. Now, we all know that audible farts are frowned upon, so implement the anonomous fart- the expulsion of intestinal gas that is subtle and infrasonic yet accompanied by a wonderball like olfactory sensation. This "wonderball like olfactory sensation" means that, like a wonderball, you have NO CLUE what's in side. It may be smelly, tolerable, or silent but deadly. The silent but deadly ones are the best for T.A.F.s.

Make sure this desired densely populated area is filled with people you'll likely never see again. This removes any form of guilt. It's fool proof, and the reactions are PRICELESS. When I was at an art show, I mingled with the local art show. I slipped right in with the crowd, successfully completing the T.A.F. Before I knew it, I heard overt sniffing noises. Heads turned. Eyes widened. I, too, began to mimic these motions, and even made the *wide eyed, shoulder shrugged "I have no clue who could have done this" face*. Did I mention how priceless this FNmonotony was?

Well, there it is. That's my favorite FNmonotony- terrorist anonomyous farting. Vain? Yes. Immature? Likely. Necessary? Definitely. It's better to burp and bear the shamethan to hold it in and bear the pain. I'm just going to say that farting is the same as burping, just from the human basement, if you catch my drift.

Thanks for reading!

Do you agree on my concept of monotony and FNmonotony?
What's your favorite FNmonotony? Why?
Post the comments below!