Sperm.
Sperm.
Sperm.
It's such an awkward word. I figured that the more I typed it, the less awkward composing this blog would be, but it's clearly not working.
At around 3 o'clock this morning, I almost fell asleep, but I was awoken by a thought. . .an idea- a concept, if you will: "What's your sperm like?" Now, this sounds completely absurd, but I think it's so crucial that I just had to blog about it. If anyone was to ask me how I was, I'd probably respond somewhere along the lines of "I'm tired" or "I'm alright" or "I'm well" etc. But what about the sperm? How do they feel? What's their outlook on their short and important life?
Before I give my take on what sperm are like emotionally, I'd like to remind you of the importance of this seldom noticed (until its too late) flagellated creature. Sperm are haploid (1N) male reproductive cells that live their life in dormancy UNTIL epic moments of fertilization. The sperm has one goal: the egg. He has one hope: the egg. Apart from that egg, he is nothing.
With that said, how do sperm feel? I don't think they're happy. I don't think they're ditsy. I don't think they're depressed and lazy for the most part (while some may be in the case of sterile males, but that's a story for another blog). I think sperm are serious, mean, and focused. I concluded in my early morning musings that sperm are like runners on the starting line. They spend all their lives in preparation for the Fertilization Olympics. "On your mark. . .. get set. . .EJACULATE!" The race begins.
There are 20-100million sperm contestants in this event and only one winner. All other contestants die and are reabsorbed to form new sperm who get another shot sometime in the future. Talk about high stakes! The winner, however, forms a child. This is the mystery of life.
What do you think? Am I right? Post comments below.
Also, I've only covered sperm in this blog. What about the ladies? What about that egg? What's she like? I've got my ideas, but I'd like to hear yours, female blog viewers!
4 comments:
Best one yet!
I think the egg... I feel like the egg is just some -damsel- who is waiting for the right spermy to come along and do whatever to her. She's silly. Naive, and wistful, and it's sickening.
:)
But there's probably more to her than that, I'm sure.
Don't even worry about the egg... I'm sure it's just as complicated as women...
I just noticed that you said the other sperm die and are reabsorbed to form new sperm... but, they're reabsorbed into the female body. So I'm fairly certain (I'm no biology expert) that when they die and are absorbed or whatever, they don't become sperm again. But I could be wrong. Maybe?
Oh, and the egg. I think she's just floating around waiting for someone to give her a purpose, which is pretty pathetic in today's modern, equal world. Then again, she does go way back, so I doubt she'll change any time soon.
I think the egg is a strong, confident spherical thing and the reason all the sperm don't make it to her is because they're scared of her extreme superiority.
Egg: FERTILISE ME BITCHES.
Sperm: Oh man, I just can't take the pressure!
Sperm: Me neither, I'm just going to duck into this alcove for a minute and close my eyes until it's over.
...
I thought I may throw in a raging feminist view there.
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