I'm locked, cocked, and ready to unload, viewers. I've have so many things to blog about lately, but with summer math classes, editing a book, and exercising twice daily on the plate that I call life, I've had no time for free time to do things like blog or sleep in. Nevertheless, I will blog and hope that my dedicated viewers forgive my tardiness mingled with laziness and find this entry of interest.
First of all, let me just say that if you read the title and knew anything more than the reference to hominids, you're a normal human being. Secondly, let me say that if you're reading this blog and you saw the word "Phoenicopteridae" and you thought, "Oh yeah! Flamingoes!", you're sick. Third of all, if you understood thoughts two and three and think that I'm going to babble on and on about some scientific link between humans and flamingoes, you're dead wrong- almost.
Of all of my viewers, few people have inquired of the contrasting name of my blog. "Derive Life." It's a command, yes, but carefully placed before that "D" is the integrand sign. For those of you that get the obvious references to calculus, you must be wondering, "How does this make sense?" The truth is, it doesn't, but then again, life seldom does. And that is exacly the aim of this blog- to explore the inconsistencies of life in an effort to decipher its often lost meaning. That's a bold aim, huh? Well, bear it in mind as you read this blog, and hopefully things will make sense. . . .or at least not seem too weird.
Flamingoes are cool. Their colors are dependent on what they eat most, they often stay in groups but maintain their "bubble" distance, and one of its species is named after some guy named James. I told you they were cool birds. If you look at the picture though, you'll notice one thing in common besides the fact that they're all pink and flamingoes. They're standing on one leg. While there is no scientifically/biologically determind reason why they do this, it's argued that flamingoes stand on one leg to conserve body heat. Why they'd need to do this, I know not. Maybe they just don't want one leg wet, or maybe they're just comfortable on one leg. That, my friends, will remain a mystery, but a second mystery exists.
HUMANS DOING THE FLAMINGO TOO!
Think about it. Swish the above phrase around in your mind's bowl. Let it all soak in. Yes. That's no typo. I'm sure you've seen it before, male viewers, and female viewers, I'm sure you've subconsciously let your inner flamingo go from time to time. As I usually do in exploring social phenomenon, I'm going to name this occurrence. I call it:
The Humingo-the action, usually subconsciously done by women, charactized by the raising of one leg for reasons unknown to the male brain. This action, while it may convey a particular emotion in females, creates confusion and perplexity in the male brain to the point that we often ignore this action without question to the point that few males have to think to acknowlege its existence.
Phew, there it is. Another definition straight from my noggin. Sounds professional, doesn't it? As usual, I like to test my theories. Ya don't wanna just fire off ideas like a loose cannon these days, ya now? So, I quickly turned to the internet-more specifically Google, the most valid and expedient means of verification of any kind (get the irony?), and before I could say "ChocoLattes" I knew that humingo is more widespread than just my social sphere. Take a look.
At this point, I feel like I need to make a disclaimer
*THESE ARE NOT MY FRIENDS*
As you can see, they're all doing the humingo. The first woman at the beach likely doesn't need to conserve body heat, and the second two couples are both well covered and probably warm. It is interesting to note, that while the third image lacks the heads of the people, it's obvious to see who's doing the humingo here.
Viewers, take a second and think. Ask yourselves. "Have I ever done humingo?" Male viewers, the likely answer for you is a firm and manly, "No.", but if your answer, which is personal, is "Yeah, I actually have done that from time to time." YOU NEED TO STOP ASAP. Females, I'm sure you've done this before, but the question all us guys are wondering is, "Why?" All of the images above convey emotion. The couple at the beach and the couple giving a gift are all happy, but the headless academic couple are engaging in romance. These are emotions nonetheless, but why on earth do females choose to lift one leg to convey such mirth/elation? I've always wondered. Why not vocalize your feelings, or use some other expression like a dance or phrase like, "I am happy" to convey emotion? This is clearly one thing you'll have to try to relate to. Give me a few moments.
Okay. I'm still a man even though I tried this feminine maneauvre. I can't tell you what it means after experiencing it though. I suppose my balance got better, and I believe I just became a public spectacle. Well, I've done my part, but I'm clueless on this one. I'm turning it over to you, viewers.
Have you experienced the humingo? Female viewers, what does this mean? Male viewers, why have we lived in darkness to the meaning of this behavior for so long?
Thanks all, and don't forget to comment!
